Christmas Isn't Over Until The Fat Guy Swings...
Part two of our Christmas Eve Bugtime Story!
Hey there Bad Bugs!
Today is time to finish our fireside reading of this Christmas classic!
The garish orange and black lights of the Kelly house shined through the windows onto the freshly fallen snow.
Santa felt a pang of frustration that he tried to tamp down. If anyone deserved the rampage of a maddened elf, it was these fuckers.
“It’s not Halloween goddammit,” he muttered as he landed on the roof.
Before floating down the chimney, Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a red fireman’s axe that was meant for a boy in Chicago who wanted to remember his dead father. With a tap of his nose, he shimmered and flowed down into the home.
Suzy, normally a heavy sleeper, jumped out of bed when she heard her husband crying out for her. She couldn’t quite make out what he was yelling, apart from her name. Still, she knew by his tone that something was wrong.
In the hallway she saw Arthur rubbing his eyes while looking at her with a confused and panicked look on his face.
“Mom?” he asked.
“Go back into your room, honey,” she whispered.
From below came the sounds of Bill sputtering and sobbing. Suzy gently pushed Arthur back into his room and hurried down the stairs. She rounded the corner and slipped on something wet, falling and striking her head.
“Jesus!” she exclaimed.
As she sat up, she realized that what she had slipped on had been blood, and a lot of it. In front on her, laying against the couch and cradling a lump in his arms was her husband, still sobbing.
“Oh my god, Bill!” she shouted. “What happened?”
Bill shifted as his haunted eyes met hers. Then she saw the colorless face of Cindy and she screamed.
Santa landed in the hearth with more of a thud than normal. The magic that propelled him down the chimney had given out halfway—a side effect of his frustration. He could hear the screaming of a woman and the pain-wracked sobs of a man.
“Yup, this is the right house,” he thought.
Saint Nick stepped out into the garish orange and black lights of the tree and scanned the room. There was a lot of blood on the floor, and the parents seemed to be cowering near the stairs—but still no sign of the elf.
“Oh my god!” the woman, likely Suzy, shouted.
Santa raised a finger to shush her. The husband turned and pointed at the tree. That’s when Santa first noticed that several of the branches were broken and ornaments lay strewn about the bloody floor. As the once jolly gift-giver approached the tree a snarl from within caused Suzy to scream again.
The elf sprang from the tree, its pale skin stained crimson. It clawed for Santa’s face, but he batted it away with the flat side of the axe. When the elf returned to its feet, it eyed both Santa and the parents. In a blur it was upon Suzy, sinking its teeth into her shoulder. Santa flew like a flash to the side of the woman and tore the creature off, casting it aside like a toy. Then he swung the axe down, splitting the elf’s head in two. With a sigh, Santa sat down on the couch next to the twitching body of his “little helper” and let out a long sigh.
“W-who are you?” Suzy stuttered as she clutched at the wound on her shoulder.
“Who do I look like?” Santa replied, exasperated.
“What was that thing?” Bill said, breaking his silence.
“An elf,” Santa replied. “Ever since the Christmas spirit has started to wane around the world, they’ve gone mad.” He cast an angry glance in the direction of the tree. “I thought I had them all chained up in my workshop, but this one must have gotten loose.”
Bill stood and walked toward Santa, showing him the crumpled mass that had once been Cindy. The man’s eyes were empty of all emotion.
“Look what it did to our daughter,” he whispered. “If you’re really Santa Claus, can’t you bring her back?”
Santa chortled. “It’s the birthday boy that can raise the dead. I’m just a toymaker.”
Bill collapsed onto the floor again next to his wife, mumbling something unintelligible. Santa sighed again as he gripped his axe and stood.
“Look,” he said slowly, “Christmas spirit has been at an all-time low this year, mostly due to people forgetting the real reason for the season. Christmas colors are red and green by the way, not black and orange.” Santa emitted a jolly laugh. “If word of this gets out—besides proving I’m real and all that—no one will ever celebrate Christmas again. I want to retire, but I don’t want to see what the hell will happen to me and the elves if Christmas goes away…so…”
Santa swung the axe into Bill’s head, causing a wet crunch. Suzy’s scream was cut off—like her head—with the next blow. That left just one more.
“Arthur!” Santa called. “Come down to get your presents! Ho Ho Ho!”
Christmas was saved after all.
VANYA #8: THE LOST WARRIOR - JAN 14TH
The 8th heart-pounding issue of our flagship Midnight title, Vanya the Lost Warrior roars onto Kickstarter next week! You don’t want to miss out on the launch special we have this time! Follow along here!
FANGERS #2 - JAN 21ST
Fangers #1 is shipping now and by the time you receive your package, Fangers 2 will be live on Kickstarter following up the story about a group of humans stuck inside a vampire compound over night. Follow along here!
That’s all from me this week! Be sure to check back in later this month for my next fucked-up Bugtime Story.
Bugs and Kisses,
Kris and the Bad Bug Team
