Rubber Monster Reviews Snuggles Up To The Basement Witch In 'Beezel'
Plus: Sex Spells, Hypergeist and Monster Girl Beach Party on KS!
What’s cookin’, Bad Bugs? It’s me, John MacLeod, back with more B-movie goodness!
What’s that? You’re worried about all these crappy movies rotting my brain? Aww, you’re too kind…but I had my brain removed a LONG time ago! So let’s get right into it, shall we?
BEEZEL (2024)
“Over 60 years, three guests of a cursed home discover an eternal witch who lives beneath it with an insatiable thirst for living souls.”
If you’ve paid attention to my reviews so far, you probably know the first thing I look at: any respectable horror shlock knows to keep the run time at around the 90-minute mark. Clocking in at a tight 83 minutes, this thing knows what it is…but manages to do it pretty damn well. Even more impressive: Beezel manages to cram four timelines of witchy goodness in there!
Starting with a quick intro scene set in the ‘60s, a young boy hears scratching and a voice coming from a cabinet beneath the bathroom sink. Upon opening it, we see another door under the sink…leading down. Presumably, to the basement. Being the ‘60s, this kid wouldn’t have seen the Evil Dead flicks yet to have that fear of the basement drilled into him, so I guess we can forgive him for opening the hatch? Maybe? Nah, he’s still stupid as hell…
Flash forward to 1987, in that very same house. Harold Weems - who we learn is the father of the boy in the opening - has hired a filmmaker named Apollo to “set the record straight”, since the world blames Harold for the deaths…and partial devouring of…his wife and son. Apollo realizes that triple his normal rate still REALLY isn’t worth it when Harold shows him film that he shot…of the corpses of his family back in the ‘60s. By the end of this segment, we’re all caught up on the story of Beezel, and cost of the power that she can grant. Let’s just say that things go gloriously off the rails from here.
We time jump twice more: once to 2003, featuring Harold’s 2nd wife and the mystery of her missing hospice nurses, and again to 2013, with Mrs. Weams’ estranged son and daughter-in-law having inherited the house. As you might guess, there’s not a lot of happily-ever-after coming at the end of this tale.
While this flick wasn’t breaking a ton of new ground, they did a great job of building tension and creating some truly creepy moments. Found footage can often be hit-or-miss, but it was used well here - especially considering the final time jump hits before we could even get to cell phone footage. Hell, just the device the first film was displayed on - using a hand crank for reel-to-reel film, with a tiny screen to watch it - was oddly creepy in its own right. And considering this movie had no actors I recognized, and was all done at a single location? Great stuff. I’d give this flick a solid 7/10, just on witch spittle alone!
Final thoughts: At the beginning of the section from 2003, the hospice nurse is listening to WBCN, a Boston radio station. Since I live in western Massachusetts, I was curious where this was filmed. It turns out Beezel’s house is the childhood home of director/writer Aaron Fradkin, in Northampton, MA! That may not mean anything to you, but that’s right in my neck of the woods (about 25 minutes from me). (If you care to check out more on that, there was a local writeup - click here for the article.)
Jack Frost, hitman for his father, Old Man Winter, is sent on a chilling mission to put a notorious crime lord on ice. From Scott Wilke (Periwinkle, Cupid, Bobby Jo), Arturo Mesa (Periwinkle, Cupid), and Dave Lentz. GET NOTIFIED HERE.
WHAT’S KICKIN’ ON KICKSTARTER:
SEX SPELLS #2 - “Embark on an epic, Dungeons & Dragons-inspired adventure, where two devoted sex priestesses confront sinister forces in a desperate quest to save their world.”
Written by Kale Jonason and Allen Dunford (Death Nell, Horus in Hell) with art by Dorilys Giacchetto (Beast and Snow, Nippy) and Dave Lentz (letters literally everything).
HYPERGEIST #1-5 - The final issue of this limited series about a pleasure model android searching for a mythical drive that can override her commands and grant her free will. Written by Scott Wilke (Bobby Jo, Cereal Killer, and the upcoming Frost) with art by Cari Salviejo, AZVolt, and Dave Lentz.
MONSTER GIRL BEACH PARTY #5 - Jason Pell’s NSFW Monster Girl Pin-Ups are headed to Japan!
That’s all for me - ta ta for now!
Bugs and Kisses,
John and the Bad Bug crew
