Aww Nuts!
The Bugtime Story will give you something to chew on!
Hey there Bad Bugs!
It’s that time of the month again! This time we’ve got a Bugtime Story that will make you certifiably nutty!
Allen could see the chattering scurry of Sciurus griseus in the clearing ahead of him. The western gray squirrel, as the layman would call them, was the focus of Allen’s studies.
He had been in the forest watching these critters for the better part of two months, all with little to no human interaction. While many worried that the isolation would get to him, Allen secretly preferred the company of the Sciurus to that of Homo Sapien.
This particular outing was prompted by reports of the local squirrels transitioning to a primarily carnivorous diet. Local hikers, naturalists, and even Fish and Game agents claimed to have seen the squirrels eating other small mammals. Then came the reports of missing children. While some attributed these disappearances to cougars or even bears, Allen had come out to prove a different theory.
Allen was a small man, which allowed him to utilize youth-sized hunting blinds for his research. Each blind was set on stilts a few feet above the ground, allowing Allen to see both the forest floor and the lower branches of the trees where Sciurus liked to congregate. The blinds were spread out a few miles from one another in a rough pentagon shape, with his base camp in the center. Truth be told, the setup was fairly sophisticated for something as odd as squirrel research. However, the donors from Wicked Insect, LLC, had been very interested in his theories.
Unfortunately, so far Allen had found no signs that the Sciurus had moved on from eating anything larger than a raccoon (and that had been wounded already by something else). It seemed that these last few months had been for naught. He would be laughed out of the scientific community for how much time and resources he had spent on his “killer squirrel” theory. Overall, he was beginning to feel hopeless.
“Allen,” a static-laced voice said over the radio. “Allen, it’s Percy, over.”
“Come in Percy,” Allen responded into the handheld radio Wicked Insect had provided.
“The suits want you to pack it in, over,” Percy said. “I’ll be at camp waiting to take you back.”
“God dammit,” Allen swore to himself.
So that was it, then. The funding had run out, and they had sent Percy to collect the crazy scientist and bring him home. Allen sighed and climbed out of the blind, making his way back toward his camp.
Percy was breaking down the tent already by the time Allen got back. Percy was an older, balding man that the company had used to bring supplies to Allen these past few months. He wasn’t an actual employee, but a hunting guide that they contracted to keep an eye on their investment.
“Hate to say it, Allen,” Percy mused, “but I told ya so. These little bastards aren’t your kid snatchers. And they aren’t ever gonna be a threat to people.”
“I saw them take down a raccoon!” Allen lied. “Have you seen how big those can get? Large as a toddler, easily!”
Percy stood up and wiped the beads of sweat from the top of his head. The look on his face was almost one of pity.
“I know how big a raccoon is, Allen. And I’m telling you, these squirrels didn’t do shit to anything that wasn’t already practically dead. Now please, help me pack your shit up. They don’t pay me by the hour.”
Allen felt his blood begin to boil. Percy thought he was crazy, just like the rest. He reached down and picked up his large flashlight where it had fallen sometime in the night. The company hadn’t paid for this—this was his and his alone. When Allen looked up, he saw a large Sciurus griseus sitting on the folding table staring at him. The squirrel’s gray fur was stained scarlet around its mouth.
This gave Allen a fantastic idea. He walked over to Percy and struck him across the back of the head with the flashlight. Percy fell face down into the dirt with a single grunt. A trickle of blood ran down his bald head in a crimson rivulet.
Allen turned back to the squirrel and smiled. He knew what he had to do.
Kickstarter Double-Header
AstroWitch #4!
AstroWitch #4 - The exciting 4th issue of AstroWitch launches today! A vibrant gamer becomes the host to a powerful ancient entity in this adventure series! Click here to back it now!
Written by Ruben Romero & Casey Bowker, inks by Alessandro Amoruso, colors by Erika De Simone, letters by Justin Birch, and edited by John MacLeod.
Final Girl Next Door #2
Final Girl Next Door #2 - Launching next week! After moving to a new town to avoid a gaggle of serial killers—which of course fails spectacularly. Click here to follow along and be the first to know when it launches.
Written by Allen Dunford, with pencils by Kit Wallis, colors by Dave Swartz, letters by Dave Lentz, and edited by John MacLeod.
Be sure to come back next week and see if Allen’s theories come true!
Bugs and Kisses,
Kris and the Bad Bug Team
