Get Some 'Za Brah
A multiweek Bugtime Story starting now!
Hey there, you big ‘ole bugs!
This week we are starting a much longer Bugtime story, which means more choices for you and more work for me! It’s time to start tying together all of the story threads of this odd little universe…
Wicked Insect HQ, 2200 Wilke Way.
Ralph knew the spot, even if he hadn’t known the address before now. Wicked Insect was the largest employer in Rockwell, though nobody knew what they did. Rumors claimed they made shitty comic books, porn, or even peddled drugs. Sometimes they sponsored scientific research, people said, but no one knew what kind.
The delivery boy sighed and placed the steaming stack of pizza boxes into the passenger seat of his crappy little sedan and started for Wilke Way. They had never placed an order before, and Ralph was thankful for that. Each pizza was a disgusting mix of pineapple, anchovies, and mushrooms. The strangest order he had ever delivered by far.
After a few minutes of driving Rockwell’s back roads, Ralph pulled up to the large gate to the Wicked Insect facility. The sign on the gate said: “Wicked Insect, LLC est. 1647”. That seemed like bullshit, but Ralph shrugged and honked his horn. A grumpy older security guard stumbled out of the guardhouse, zipping up his pants. His nametag looked like it had been written hastily in Sharpie; Dave, it said.
“Business?” Dave rumbled distractedly.
Ralph cleared his throat and rolled his eyes.
“Pizzas, dude,” he said.
Dave turned around and whispered something into his lapel. When he turned back, he was grimacing.
“Keep on to the front entrance,” he said. “They’ll…ah…get you taken care of at the desk.”
Dave walked back into the guardhouse, and the gate slowly ground open. Ralph muttered to himself as he stepped on the gas. He wanted done with this weird place and their weird fucking pizza.
The building loomed over him, a giant industrial-looking building with grime-covered windows and smokestacks that belched a steady stream of black.
“This ain’t no toy factory,” Ralph muttered to himself. Another schoolyard rumor; supposedly, they supplied the toys for Santa.
He rolled to a hasty stop, yanked on the handbrake, and ran up the steps with the pizzas. The quicker he got this over with, the quicker he could go back to an evening of video games and flat soda.
“Hello?” the intercom buzzed before Ralph could even touch the button.
“Uh, yeah,” Ralph said, looking around for the camera. “I’m the pizza guy.”
“One moment,” the voice said.
The door beeped, and a lock clicked. Ralph juggled the pizzas as he pulled the door open. Inside, the foyer split into two dimly lit hallways. To the right, the sign read “Ground Floor Offices, Conference Room”. The sign to the left read “Front Desk”. Ralph looked at the delivery instructions one more time: “Bring straight to the conference room.”
“Fuck me,” he whispered. Did he check in at the desk like Dave had told him, or go straight to the conference room?
FINAL GIRL NEXT DOOR AND BAD PUSSY HAVE SHIPPED!
Thanks to Christian, Shawn, Lindsay, Brandon, and Alice (not pictured) for putting in the work to get these books out to our readers. Some international orders remain, but those will go out by the end of the next week.
AstroWitch 4 and Vanya 8 ship next!
FANGERS 3 COMING SOON!
The SMASH HIT erotic vampire series returns this Sunday at 10am EST. You can get signed up HERE.
That’s it for this week. Be sure to come back to see where Ralph ends up!
Bugs and Kisses,
Kris and the Wicked Insect Bad Bug Crew
