Unhappy Birthday To Me!
The next Bugtime Story celebrates the day of my birth!
What’s up you Bad Bugs?
Today is actually my 32nd birthday, so to celebrate the rather gloomy occasion, I decided to write a birthday-themed Bugtime Story! Read on and be sure to vote at the end.
The blood-splattered cake still had three of the thirty-two candles flickering faintly.
At the end of the table, Luke’s mother was still twitching with the hatchet in her skull. The rest of his family lay in random positions around the room where he had cut them down just a few moments before.
“Oh my god!” he wailed, falling to his knees. “What have I done?”
He couldn’t remember why he had done it. It had been a rather unremarkable birthday for him. The “surprise party” hadn’t actually been much of a surprise. The usual suspects had all been here: his parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and a few family friends. Food had been shitty burgers that his dad overcooked on the BBQ out back. His mother had made sure that all of his gifts had been arranged in a neat pile by the door. Thirty-two candles were lit on the cake, and then Luke leaned in and made a wish. The next thing he knew, his family was dead, and somehow he knew that he was the one who had killed them.
His mother finally stopped twitching, the last of her nervous system shutting down as the remainder of her blood leaked onto the table. For some reason, he was grateful for this. It was quiet now, except for the hollow sound of his own sobs.
“What did I wish for?” he wondered.
What a strange thing to focus on amidst all of this carnage, but perhaps that would be the answer as to why he did this. Wracking his brain, Luke tried to focus back on the final moments before everything went mad. What was it? What the fuck was it?
“You wished for your birthday to finally be memorable,” a strange voice said.
Luke felt a cold hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see the source of the voice—his own father, his face split in two. The dead man’s eyes were white, and his ruined jaw hung open dumbly. Luke hated seeing the bloody face looking at him.
“You got your wish, didn’t you son?” his father said, though the voice sounded more like it was coming from inside of the man’s chest rather than his ruined mouth. “Happy birthday, Luke.”
“No!” Luke shouted, pushing the dead man back. “Not like this! No! No!”
Luke looked back at the cake, the last three candles still flickering in some impossible breeze. Beside the cake, the nearly empty box of candles caught his attention. His mother usually bought the cheapest candles she could find at the grocery store—but this box was different. Shiny black with a red script and the embossed words: “Your Wicked Desire Candles”. Luke picked up the box and ran his fingers over the words.
“Did you like the candles I picked out?” another strange voice asked. “Happy birthday Luke.”
His mother stood beside the table now, the hatchet still stuck into her skull. Trying to ignore the walking-talking corpse of his mother, Luke leaned in and blew out the last three candles.
“I take it back,” he wished in his mind. “I don’t want a birthday like this.”
No sooner did two of the candles snuff out did the front door to the house blow off of its hinges and dozens of cops poured inside. Luke’s hand felt heavier all of a sudden. He looked down and saw that the hatchet was back in his hand. His parents were back to being dead, though both were on the floor beside him now rather than where he had ended their lives some moments before.
“Drop the weapon and get on the fucking ground!” one of the officers shouted.
Luke was confused.
“How did they get here so fast?” he thought. “When did I pull the hatchet out?”
Then he felt his mind begin to cloud as it had earlier, and he knew that once again, his wish had not been what he had in mind. But—he noticed that there was still one candle left.
What’s Kicking on Kickstarter
Launching Today! FROST!
Frost One Shot - Jack Frost, hitman for his father, Old Man Winter, is sent on a chilling mission to put a notorious crime lord on ice. This newest addition to the Periwinkle Saga (Periwinkle, Cupid) is not one to miss.
Written by Scott Wilke, with art by Arturo Mesa, letters by Dave Lentz, and edited by John Macleod.
Hypergeist #5! The final issue!
HYPERGEIST #1-5 - The final issue of this limited series about a pleasure model android searching for a mythical drive that can override her commands and grant her free will.
Written by Scott Wilke with art by Cari Salviejo, AZVolt, and Dave Lentz.
Sex Spells #2!
SEX SPELLS #2 - “Embark on an epic, Dungeons & Dragons-inspired adventure, where two devoted sex priestesses confront sinister forces in a desperate quest to save their world.”
Written by Kale Jonason and Allen Dunford with art by Dorilys Giacchetto and Dave Lentz.
With hours left…Monster Girl Beach Party: Going to Japan!
That’s it for this week! Be sure to tune in next Tuesday to see what poor Luke does to wrap up his birthday!
Bugs and Kisses,
Kris and the Bag Bug Crew
